Yeah so, I haven't been on here in a while and um...don't really have much to say I guess. Getting ready to move sucks, moving will suck even more. As anxious as I am to get on out into the great blue yonder its going to be tough leaving Raleigh. Mmmmm...but enough of that, I promise I will soon get on a kick with this thing soon, just need to sort a few things out first.

I love when you're corresponding with someone via email...and you keep just hitting reply, so you get subject lines that are like....re:re:re:re: whatever. And if you're like me you're already terrible at coming up with a subject line, so what appears after the re:re:re: is already pretty stupid, but of course anything you come up with for a new subject line is equally as stupid, so you just don't put anything new in and keep letting those re:re:re:'s add up.

Oh and Happy Independence Day!!!

"Too much and too long, we seem to have surrendered community excellence and community values in the mere accumulation of material things. Our gross national product ... if we should judge America by that - counts air pollution and cigarette advertising, and ambulances to clear our highways of carnage. It counts special locks for our doors and the jails for those who break them. It counts the destruction of our redwoods and the loss of our natural wonder in chaotic sprawl. It counts napalm and the cost of a nuclear warhead, and armored cars for police who fight riots in our streets. It counts Whitman's rifle and Speck's knife, and the television programs which glorify violence in order to sell toys to our children.

Yet the gross national product does not allow for the health of our children, the quality of their education, or the joy of their play. It does not include the beauty of our poetry or the strength of our marriages; the intelligence of our public debate or the integrity of our public officials. It measures neither our wit nor our courage; neither our wisdom nor our learning; neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country; it measures everything, in short, except that which makes life worthwhile. And it tells us everything about America except why we are proud that we are Americans."

-Robert F. Kennedy

Sticking it to the Man, one trip to the grocery store at a time

Now if you're overly paranoid about consumer marketing research like I am, you might enjoy this story. I'm sure that most of you are familiar with preferred customer cards at various retail outlets, most especially supermarkets; for instance Food Lion's MVP card, Harris Teeter's VIC card, Kroger's VIP card, Lowe's Green Card...so on and so forth. Well as you may or not be aware depending on your level of paranoia there is a general belief that these cards are used as a way of consumer marketing research, building a profile of your purchases over time to figure out your preferences. The idea is that they can then use this profile to better market stuff to you. Now without delving into my whole..."if it has to be marketed to me, do I really need it?" deal, here's a pleasant little anecdote that you may find helpful or at least mildly amusing that this passes for excitement in my life. You see, I had all of the aforementioned cards and generally try to use them to full advantage (for example once when food lion had pop tarts on MVP sale for a dollar, I got ten boxes and had enough for months), however a few months ago I was victim to the most unfortunate disappearance of my "Food Dog MVD card" (as usual I have changed the name of the business for protection of the innocent note: MVD=Most Valuable Dan) , the one I use most frequently as the "Food Dog" around the corner is most convenient. I discovered the vanishing one day while in the checkout line at "Food Dog" and having a cart full of "MVD items", was in a state of disarray when I could not find my beloved card and began to weep internally for all the savings I was going to miss. Thankfully, my cashier was prepared for just such an occurrence and not wanting to deal with a grown (well almost grown) man bawling like a baby, swiped the card kept at the register. The sound of the printer as it spit out my savings was like a mother's comforting words...soon I was on my way, and upon inspection of my receipt discovered that I had $9.27 in savings thanks to my cashier's heroic actions. Well of course, the next time I went in I had completely forgotten about my missing card (I must have blocked it out, the pain is just that deep) and once again after a few seconds of fumbling through my wallet, my cashier made an astounding transformation from Marty...ill mannered Food Dog cashier...to SUPER SWIPER BOY (now with card swiping action).

Well this is when it occurred to me (yeah I'm slow, shut up, really I've just drawn it out for dramaticity, back off) I no longer need worry over the vast amounts of data being collected about my shopping habits through my innocent looking MVD card. Now every time I go in there I enter into this card charade with whoever my unwitting cashier may happen to be. As faithfully as that ole' geyser out west (I forget its name, you know the one) after about twenty seconds or so of intense inspection of all the vast reaches of my wallet my cashier will kindly inform me to call off the hounds, as he has been so kind as to swipe his card for me. With feigned relief and a wicked internal cackle I complete my purchases and move on triumphant once again. This has now worked for at least the last three months (I go to the Food Dog about once every week or two) without fail and now I have begun to expand my anti-marketing operation to other prominent chains...each time walking away with a victory not just for myself, but for consumers everywhere. Also I'm too lazy to locate my missing card or to reapply for one, but then why should I give up my powers as SUPER CONSUMER MAN (now with card shooting action) and begin using my card once again when I have a faithful legion of SUPER SWIPER BOYS and AMAZING SAVING GALS to ensure I don't miss out on savings. Together we fight for Savings, Justice, and The American Way.

Ever watch Saved by the Bell and say to yourself, "Self, why do Jessie, Slater, Lisa, Kelly, & Zack, hang out with Screech? I mean, our circle of friends didn't have a Screech." Then upon further reflection you realize that maybe the reason you don't remember your friends having a Screech, is because you were the Screech. Then you decide you should probably just stop talking to yourself and enjoy the wonder that is Saved by the Bell. Man...that Zack...he's such a scamp, what's he up to this week (or up to this hour really nowadays, remember when Saved by the Bell wasn't in reruns? yeah, me either). And just in case your wondering...yes I did have a bet with someone to see how many times I could put Saved by the Bell in one post...

No, I did not have a bet to see how many times I could put "..." on my webpage, that's really just the way I write. Kinda funny isn't it how we spend so much time learning the "proper" way to write while at the same time we read all these celebrated writers and not a single one of them can write "proper"? Every celebrated writer has some idiosyncrasy...from Shakespeare who spelled his own name at least seventeen different ways throughout his career, to Dickens' overly complex sentences (even for his time), to Hemingway who sometimes felt a word made a great sentence, and had little need for commas. Maybe the profuse use of "..." is just my own idiosyncrasy and maybe one day smartasses will refer to me as their way of covering up the lack of effort they put into grammar class. Ok...well, maybe not...maybe its just that I write like I talk, and I like to take longer pauses than a simple "," could afford...while at the same time I'm trying to continue with pretty much the same thought. See how that works? yeah, me either...